There has been a considerable amount of time that has passed since I last wrote, last updated, did anything really. The winter blues are a real deal thing and I can say that I am not immune to them and their dreary effects. The lack of light does not help nor does the bitter cold. The morning darkness and by the time I got off work darkness. Now it is spring and with it longer days and warmer days spite the random snow storm.
Art and the desire to create and make new art have never left my mind, and maybe this contributed to my seasonal depression. By the time I finished the gym, cooked dinner, and came home, I was ready for bed. Many days seemingly passed like this before I could do anything about it.
I have also been spending some of my extra time on the weekends helping out one of my older friends. He is at that age where he has decided. Although I consider him a close friend, I have difficulty listening to his complaints and frustration with life and everything going on. Not to mention, the advice he gives me is for a world that no longer exists. Some of the complaints and frustration that he is experiencing remind me of my late grandfather and how bitter and upset he was about life. Let's say that when you are trying to remain positive, their cloud is one that rains over you with frustration and despair.
The other thing that has caused anxiety is moving and the uncertainty that comes with that. Two brothers were supposed to end on July 31, 2024, after 15 years of running. There were supposed to be two spin-offs, but after some debate, the show was bought out in hopes of making a last season. This is not uncommon for television shows to come to a close and then have another season. The negotiation for the final season is still under debate and may not go at all. We have until the end of June to sign a deal and then the deadline is July 31st.
As amazing as work is, work is not the answer. I had this idea while at work about living in the moment. The idea was if I live by the motto “Live as if I die tomorrow, and dream as if you live forever,” what would my current story say about my life. I got that file filed, or I was able to get the email sent, and for what? What a paycheck and the ability to do all this again tomorrow. All that and the ability to go on a trip once a year.
Work is only one component in everything happening, I also have to play the bigger game at hand. Owning a car, paying the traditional bills along with dealing with the burdens of society whether you want to acknowledge them or not, they still weigh upon you.
The feeling of drowning can really feel real without ever really, but there is no way I am not going to fight against the tide that is determined to pull me out to insanity. I will use art as a blueprint for my dream, and I will use it as the ship to sail and navigate those rocky waters to make a better tomorrow today. And, almost as fast as I said that, I had an incredible friend send me a message about a Japanese philosophy to make anything happen.
The Japanese philosophy is known as Geido, which is defined as the process of an individual becoming a master at any art through a three-part process. The first part is a process of mental commitment to the art. Life doesn't happen all at once, nor does its greatness come in a single moment, but over some time of dedication and devotion. Second, an individual must mic a master of the art from itself. Third, and finally, the whole philosophy requires the individual to step out of the shadow of the master and into their own light. In the process of stepping out, it is said that an individual will find themselves and the true meaning of art, that inspiration to create their masterpiece.
For me, it’s to get back to Japan, learn the language to make art, and have that dream carry the rest of the way.