I have thought about the idea of hiding behind people, things, past traumas and other ideas. I came up with the idea what happens when you stop hiding behind things and start hiding behind yourself. Is it really hiding behind something or is it truly finding your own voice and a way of being able to express yourself. I believe it is just that; finding your voice and discovering a way to uniquely express yourself.
There is a line in the movie spoken by Wally from the movie “Dinner with Andre,” “He could live in his art never in reality.” I feel that statement made couldn’t be more true about myself. I find that in art I can be anything and everything. I can have the conversations I have always wanted to and I can do the things I have always wanted to. Since Covid-19 happened it has been hard to find the magic in life that I knew once existed in the universe. Today that magic is even harder to find if at all.
I have some friends that I see on the weekend. Their friendship means the world to me. I am able to have conversations that I long to have about things other then the mundane. I think about the conversation that occurred in that movie. The only thing I can do is create the reality in which I wish to known and have.
After the recent events that have befallen me I need those conversations and that reality that exists seeming only in art now. There is a huge leap of faith and uncertainty in making this new form of art. Time, money being some of the biggest factors. I believe that this next step in the world of art is the next biggest thing. This form would tie in everything I have been working for and be the exact way in which I could express the ideas that I have struggled to for so long.
Not only is this idea a way of expressing ideas and conveying them but also a way of creating bridges with other people who share the same passion and ideas and yarn for a way of expression.
The goal here is to create a form of art that takes up where one form left off. I have this desire to express the notion that there are multiple dimensions to an individual and yet we only ever see one side. Often times we are only ever allowed to share one side of ourselves. Too often the depth and complexity of individuals is lost to the constant chaos around us of constantly reacting to situations rather than proactively acting. In photography I have been able to create multiple versions of myself. In Video I am able to create even more. I would be able to give life to the multiple versions that reside within myself, everyone for that matter. The ideas is being able to clone myself in post video production giving a voice.
The first idea is to express the complex dynamics having a version of my self being able to say what I think and feel without feeling guilty of being able to express myself. This is where I am able to hide behind myself and yet finding a voice and truly expressing myself. The big project that I have in mind is recreating a version of the very movies that inspire me.
I am reminded of the higher state of needs the top being self articulation, a place that might as well be a quaint cafe at the top of Mt. Everest. Only few climb that high and even fewer have something to say at the top of that mountain.