As I left Texas early the morning of June 8th I knew that this would be my last time in Texas working in the oil fields. I couldn’t help but stop thinking about the song get together. As I drove down the street the music played out in my mind paying as background music to my thoughts. I was one of the very first people who arrived for work to come. Rumors had turned into reality with the promise of more work then we knew what to do with. In the days leading up, I was able to secure myself a nice position to honker down for what I thought would be six months of work. In reality, I left a month and a half into my hitch. There were a lot of contributing factors going into a seemingly perfect storm that eventually led me to come home so early. I had lost a personal friend who succumbed to conditions that were out of our control, passing in the night doing what he loved most.
The desert and camp X-ray was a place that pushed you to your limits and then some. I watched grown men break down and fall to their knees crying over their personal lives go on and on. At one point a former boss pulled me aside and told me how proud he was of me for outlasting and managing to overcome so much. I did endure a lot and had to overcome much. Dealing with people was the hardest. The job brought people from all over the world and from all walks of life. For the most part, I made some amazing friends and people. Overall I came out of the oil field with a new and profound respect for driving in the winter and working outside in the elements.
Now my time away from has been used to get back to being myself. I gave up so much of my time for a job, but in return got to do things that I never imagined I would do in my life. The job and work gave me the opportunity to not only do amazing things but to go above and beyond making 2019 one of the best years of my life. When you think about it people do trips here and there but it would seem that the magic that they displace and shine into the world only takes them so far.
The idea of getting back to my life, my dreams, and my direction has been my top priority. I have put a considerable amount of time into making The A.A.A.B.M. that much more real. Nothing makes me happier than seeing it take off, almost like standing back from a painting or picture and taking it all in. Having been gone for so long and without taking the time to plan months in advance planning something for the next day was not an easy task especially when your often out of state working. I know this as I tried to entertain several relationships but to no avail. In any case, I made some more amazing friends and people that I am glad to have in my life. But, with getting back to my life so too was getting back to the reality of what I had missed out on for the most part. The girl whom I was interested in had already met someone and was now living with them. And the girl I dated seeing her every day was extremely hard.
Getting to see my friend live a life of luxuries and excitement hit me pretty hard especially seeing her get to fly around in her boyfriend’s plane. The feeling was only fleeting, and the thought has become a constantly evolving one at that. My plans and dreams have only begun and continue to grow. I admit that I had a rough spat there but I am back. I figured things out and put the rest into preservative.
Along with my own frustrations of the world and of things going on. I sit there and tell myself as I do others.
Have you ever played with lego’s and then when it was time to put them away you only put away the pieces of the superstructure and then finished up by cleaning the leftover pieces. Then have you played lego’s again and started to use some of the superstructures that you used from the time before to make your new creation. Then we wonder why our new creation has the characteristics of the past. The idea never occurred to us that to build and create something truly new, something truly creative and worth mentioning we much first take apart all the pieces to build something new.
Aside from some people that I expect to be philosophers and a few others that I value their opinion, I shared it with someone, only they were unimpressed and not taken with the complexity of the idea and what it was suggesting. That philosophy, along with the philosophy of “identity in space,” has changed my entire sense of being and doing, and because of that, I have to remain open-minded. My approach to life and my approach to being is the same, and isn’t like anyone else’s that I know. Most people walk and live a universal life filled with a few highs and lows but, for the most part, bounce back and forth between two distinctive definitions.
Even these people I know of thinking and seemingly living a life of luxury or extravagance have all fallen victim. The truth and the key to success are the Revolution, a spark of being, a spark of life contrary to what the world is putting out there. Especially in this time of day when everything remains uncertain and seemingly downtrodden. 2020 has been a roller coaster of emotions. Fires, viruses, quarantine, riots, political correctness, and so forth, and we are now only halfway through. This has even left me to question my own position and my own line of thinking.
First and for most I have decided to remain happy and embrace my life to the fullest. No longer letting people make me or cause me to feel bad about myself, who I am, and what I am all about. I am overall the people that think that if I am unhappy here or that I might be happy elsewhere then I need to leave I will have a go fund me account for people to donate to that cause. How I look is how I look. I will do my best to lose my weight and fix my teeth but I can’t easily change who I am after all I was born me. My interests hobbies and beliefs are mine as well. I make no apology to people who don’t know the world, or what resides in their world. When you take in the world beyond what you know and think you know you find that there is a world out there that has happened and is happening.
The ability to go through life and miss it is very real and very possible. often people get caught up in circumstances and situations that further limit their being.
Though my plans were changed dramatically from the get-go I still have not given up on making them happen and work. I can’t tell you how many times in the past I got what I wanted but it didn’t look like I wanted it to or it didn’t have the qualities I sought. Life has its own idea about how things will turn out and what qualities and characteristics they will exhibit. That’s the task trying and attempting to create something in a space that it’s self is constantly changing and constantly only a reflection of what it is. People hold themselves true to various ideas consciously or unconsciously of their own doing up until they become obsolete. To out of the common idea to be relateable or to have an understanding of relatability to what is going on.
I start back to school in August of 2020 to finish my path in CPA. I do not intend to be someone who works in an office in a cube doing stacks upon stacks of paperwork, I am using a degree in CPA to make my dreams have the necessary mechanism to operate and to begin taking off on its own. Along with that, as for content for my web page, I am going to start with what I got. I am going to feature my own town, pros cons, events. Casper Wy will be where I learn to tell the story of a city and it’s people.