You would think the ability to make a genuine human connection would be possible. Still, with the recent events that have conspired in the world with technology and COVID- 19 with its social distancing policy, that idea is near impossible. I base this on the idea of connecting with people and taking into consideration their circumstances based on my experiences. I also consider what I am trying to accomplish here regarding a relationship and a conversation as I try to navigate it. My thoughts center on the now-iconic movie "My Dinner with André and the conversation that took place there.
The movie centers around two friends André and Wally, two theater actors and play-writes who became estranged from one another. After finally Accepting André's invitation to get together, the two finally meet up at a fancy New York restaurant where André began to tell of his life-changing experience. Before the conversation ever took place, Wally had heard several things about his friend and how he might have been suffering from a mental break down or mental illness. Wally had preconceived ideas that he was going into a dinner where he had to provide some insight as if to help his friend somehow, but by the end of the conversation would find that he was the one that received the help.
Andre starts by describing a random circumstance that led him down a road of enlightenment and self-discovery by letting go and running with it. André, a reasonably well-off family man with the help of his theater connections, met extraordinary people and experienced just as unique events and happenings, which ultimately changed him forever. The story that unfolds between the two of them becomes an existential look at life and on life. Not only do the two friends develop a comprehensive philosophy but even raise philosophical questions and problems but attempt to answer them.
The conversation works for two reasons. Both have the knowledge, awareness, and intellect to discuss such in-depth ideas and topics in the first place, and secondly, they have a common ground to build the framework of their discussion. The conversation and images are only so grand that they can only take place in the time it takes to have dinner. Wally can't spend any more novel time dedicated to such whimsical notions as his humdrum life is already waiting on him. As the film grows to a close, André succeeds in having his friend see a new way of thinking but is unsuccessful in changing the core way in which his friend functions. Yes, Wally leaves and looks at the city in a new way, maybe for the first time, but is unchanged by the conversation. Wally states how idealistic everything that André has mentioned but suggests how impractical his way of thinking is.
One of my last posts touched on people's lives and their lies in how the truth in original people has no place in others' lies. If that weren't enough, if I never reached out to my friends, then I would never hear back. I know that some people are neck-deep in keeping their reality together or working to maintain. I know people have kids, move on in life, and go to jobs to pay their bills, but the old saying goes, you will have time for the essential things.
I just reached out to a friend via texting because we had never really been a friendship that called one another. Throughout our acquaintance, we got together several times and had a wonderful time catching up. Now, that friendship has come down to a handful of texts—two that they could respond to and one that would just be left. I sort of feel like André with incredible ideas regarding life but no one to share. Even when I rose to the occasion to see my friend halfway around the world, the conversation regarding art ideas fell short of its mark. I still want to have those conversations with them and many other individuals, and rather than be upset or frustrated, I think to my self what a fantastic opportunity.
Just because people may not react in the ways I wish doesn't mean that I don't still impact them in some profound way. What André didn't see that the viewers did is that Wally wasn't the same after the conversation. As soon as Wally got home, he began to tell the conversation to his girlfriend with no doubt of adding his one ideas and philosophies. People may not react to my ideas and thoughts in the way I would like them to, but that doesn't mean that my argument and understanding is made less in any way. I will continue to work on my thoughts and ideas, and I will continue to share them with everything I have. I do this because I care about my friends and care about what their thoughts are and how they think and what their take is on the world.
Lastly, when you talk about changing the world, you begin by changing one person at a time. You do this by being genuinely true to yourself, and the best friend you can be by letting them know you care about their thoughts and feelings on the world and the world. Because through them, you too evolve. I'll be honest. I have no time or place in fake people's lives and if that means that my circle of friends grows smaller, then so be it.